Connect
To Top

The Curve in my “Skinny”

I have always been curvier, a little shorter, and not your typical “California Girl.” I don’t have effortless style. I can’t wake up in the morning, just dab a little bit of makeup on my face and brush my fingers through my hair. If I did that I would be walking around like a Chia Pet. I’m Italian, so as a teen, girls in high school hated me because their boyfriends thought I was exotic and different. As an adult, I always get asked, “Are you like one of those Kardashian girls?” I always knew I wasn’t like the “other” girls. I’ve always been athletically built and my size ranges from 12-20. I was always proud of who I was, until one day I was showing a used-to-be friend pictures from my weekend trip to Las Vegas. As I flipped through the shots, they said, “Oh sweetie, you’ll always have a pretty face.” A pretty face… what the hell does that mean? I heard, “You’ll always be the chubby girl with the pretty face.” It was a blow to my self-esteem like you wouldn’t believe… or maybe you would. I knew exactly what it meant. “You’re fat and will never change… but at least your face is pretty.”

I always knew I wasn’t like the “other” girls. I’ve always been athletically built and my size ranges from 12-20. I was always proud of who I was, until one day I was showing a used-to-be friend pictures from my weekend trip to Las Vegas. As I flipped through the shots, they said, “Oh sweetie, you’ll always have a pretty face.” A pretty face… what the hell does that mean? I heard, “You’ll always be the chubby girl with the pretty face.” It was a blow to my self-esteem like you wouldn’t believe… or maybe you would. I knew exactly what it meant. “You’re fat and will never change… but at least your face is pretty.”

At a size 20, I woke up one morning to go to work. As I slipped on one of my skirts and attempted to zip it up, the words of that friend echoed in my head… “Oh sweetie, you’ll always have a pretty face.” I decided at that moment, with my size 20 skirt fitting snugly across my rear that I was going to do something about it.

I had no idea where to start. I dieted before, but it was always with the next fad diet, trending detox, or pill that promised it would shrink you to nothing just to gain it all back and then some. First, I had to come to terms with a few things so, I sought out help from a friend of mine who happened to be a doctor that specialized in obesity. She helped me not only realize, but accept the fact, that I had a binge eating disorder and a food addiction. I binged when stressed, binged when sad. It didn’t help that I come from an Italian family where everything revolves around food. You’re happy? Here’s a cookie! You’re sad? Here’s a piece of cake! You accomplished something amazing? You get your favorite carb, stuffed with cheese meal made just for you. That was part of the addiction. Being prized or shown that I was loved with food made food a bandage for everything that was going on in my life, good or bad.

The sucky thing with a food addiction is that it’s not like a substance abuse problem where you remove it from your life completely. It’s food, you need it to live. It was at this point that I started researching food programs that would help me understand how food works in the body and how to eat healthy. I was a child of the 80’s and every processed food known to man was available and quick and easy for my mom to prepare for me. My parents didn’t really eat healthy or know any better back then so I had a lot to learn. (P.S. I’m not blaming my mom here, she’s amazing.)

I didn’t realize how big a part of my life food was, and now that I was facing it, I had to find healthy ways to deal with life. I did research on a few programs and picked one that I felt would work for me. My research lead me to Weight Watchers. Where I quickly learned it’s not about the scale.

This is just the first part of a multi-part series that’s not so much about my weight loss as it is about finding myself. I hope to show you it’s not about the size of your clothes, or the number on the scale. It’s about you and finding your own comfort and love of yourself.  I hope to inspire you to try new things, whether it’s a walk around your favorite park or a spin class, or that new vegan restaurant you’ve been hearing about (its not all bad, I promise), or to try on that amazing BIKINI you’ve been wanting to buy.  I hope you enjoy this series as much as I do and I look forward to sharing my journey of self-realization and love with you.

 

  • 向您学习,我的QQ:460934120!多多指教!
    丙申年(猴)九月初八 2016-10-8

More in Plus Size Fashion

Skorch was the first fully digital magazine featuring plus size fashion and continues to lead the industry as a resource of plus size fashion for women around the world. All bodies are real bodies.

Executive Team

JESSICA KANE
Founder & CEO
jessica@skorchmagazine.com

TIFFANY KAELIN KNIGHT
Editor-at-Large
tiffany@skorchmagazine.com

———————— NEWS ———————-

Refinery29 Featured as a top 5 plus mag in the world LINK

TODAYShow.com Skorch Founder Jessica Kane Featured Interview LINK


Copyright © 2006-2016 SKORCH MAGAZINE a division of REAL OmniMedia, LLC
Founded by Jessica Kane